Kim Jong-il is: ROCKET MAN

Girls night out will never be the same again

Well, just when you thought Kim Jong Il was the loneliest dictator in the world.  As Dear Leader continues to aggravate kind of allies (China) and really, really annoy everbody else, he has finally found a buddy to go to the pub with, and talk about his Rocket collection to.  And who could ask for a more perfect match.  Mugabe, ranked by many as the worse dictator in the world, has driven Zimbabwe’s economy into absolute collapse, and along the way tormented his nations people with any number of human rights abuses.  Kim Jong Il,  a perennial contender for number 1 worst dictator, has done pretty much the same, adding years of mass starvation to his list of abuses.   It seems like they are perfect for each other.    Now they have signed “an agreement on cooperation” which comes in the wake of  Zimbabwe being the only nation to publicly congratulate North Korea on their recent rocket launch.  Good for them, together forever.  They can even enjoy their golden years together , with Mugabe buying a 41 million dollar condo (he just printed more money for himself) in Hong Kong for his nearing retirement.  Looks  like it is time for makeovers and James Bond marathons at Mugabe’s house.

Link: Robert Mugabe: Greedy, Crazy and Powerful

Now that Dear Leader has allegedly tested another nuclear bomb, with the effect of a 4.2 magnitude earthquake, the international community is ready to threaten sanctions.

Sanctions? Really? How has this strategy worked in the past? Not very well, which is why we’ve come to this current situation. Economic sanctions are the weakest hand when dealing with North Korea, mostly because the man in charge doesn’t think rationally. Kim does NOT care if the US, South Korea or Japan backhand him with the strictest in economic sanctions. No, what he does care for is threatening his immediate neighbors, and bullying his way into achieving some sort of clout in international relations. Further sanctions will only fuel the brush fire that is the North Korean Nuclear Crisis.

Kim has already stated that his military is ready for mobilization (even though we know they are mal-nourished and ill equipped).  Now that Obama has pledged to fully protect Japan and South Korea, I wonder what will happen if Kim forces Obama’s hand. Will the freshly elected president of the free world open up another war front? Or will he, again, try diplomacy in order to bring peace to the Pacific Rim?

If Obama does choose diplomacy, he had better go into it with a better road-map than the 6 party talks. Even with Russia and China turning their backs on Kim, Obama will have a hard time talking his way out of this one. The best play he can make is to appease China on the immediate threat North Korea poses to them, and have the force of all 6 party members directly addressing Kim. If it comes down to trading bullets, at least Obama can rely on China to back him up.

SLOW NEWS DAY:

A new feature on Rocket Man is the Slow News Day.  These are days when there is no significant news to report (significant meaning ridiculous stories concerning a politician) or we just need a break from the norm.

Slow News Day No. 1: KIM JONG-IL EXECUTES PRIMATES

The Monkey Chef

Previously posted on facebook on April 17, 2009.